Anger is a natural emotion all of us experience in response to a perceived threat to or a violation of the self. We all have the right to be angry. In fact, not being able to express it can be harmful to the health and to our relationships. That sure does not mean we go around screaming at people we are angry at.
The way people react is conditioned by the social and psychological development. Anger is determined by the conscious and the unconscious mind, and this would influence the way people express their feelings, including anger.
When we bring our awareness into the expression of anger, it is said to have positive outcome and when we get our hurt feelings out, it helps our psychological health. Chronic anger not handled appropriately by expression can be very bad to health and even lead to diseases of the heart, gastrointestinal and skin.
Anger is expressed in several ways, by aggressiveness, assertiveness or by being passive. When we act aggressively and abuse the other person either verbally using words that hurt them or physically by using our fists, the relationship suffers; when we remain passive by denying this anger and we repress it by saying nothing about the issue, we suffer. The best way to express anger is by being assertive, which eventually helps resolve issues with discussion as well as enhances interpersonal relationships.
The first step to handling anger is to be aware of the danger signals that accompany anger, and then decide if a response is worthwhile and react accordingly. Impulsiveness never helps in any aspect of life. Giving ourselves time to think before taking an action, saves us a lot of trouble.
It is important to indicate feelings honestly and say exactly what is meant. The anger should be directed only at the person concerned and not at all the people surrounding you; which is the major mistake we all do. First, the moral basis of the anger should be made apparent. Without ever trying to belittle the other person by chucking human rights out of the window, either verbally or physically, the causes of anger and frustration should be expressed. Most people make the mistake of getting personal and talking about other things related to the person concerned, which is totally wrong. Only the issue at hand should be mentioned and nothing else. If it starts to lead to an argument, it is a good idea to stop talking and start listening, trying to understand the other person’s perspective or the explanation.
Be courageous, focused and forgiving. Forgiveness is the greatest asset we can possess and it heals things far quicker than any other balm.
Many a time, anger outbreaks are regretted and this happens with lack of self control and logical reasoning.
It is not difficult to change the way we look at things. If we make a conscious effort at keeping a control over ourselves, we can lead a more peaceful life as we have fewer worries to deal with.
Relaxation techniques, such as Yoga and meditation help immensely in keeping the mind focused and calm. It gives us the ability to see things more logically because of the time given to think.
